Raising Teens

Jesus grew and so will our teens.

Parenting teenagers can sometimes feel like navigating uncharted waters. One minute, they’re asking for help with homework, and the next, they’re turning into full-blown philosophers, questioning everything—including why they even need homework in the first place! It’s a whirlwind, and at times, it feels like we’re holding on for dear life.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is there a biblical guide for this phase of life?” you’re not alone. The Bible doesn’t seem to dive too deeply into the awkward teenage years (it skips right past that growth spurt!). However, we do get some clues—did you know that most of the disciples were likely teenagers when they started following Jesus? Plus, there’s the story of the 12-year-old girl who was raised from the dead. But beyond these moments, the teenage years feel like a bit of a mystery, as though even scripture avoids handling teenagers directly!

Then, we come across Jesus’ preteen years in Luke 2:40-52. The passage gives us a glimpse of Jesus at age 12, and suddenly, we jump forward to when He’s 30! What happened during His teenage years? It’s a mystery.

While it may seem like there’s no direct blueprint for raising teenagers, we can still draw valuable lessons from scripture—and from one another. So, let’s dive into this passage and uncover four key principles for raising teens.

Let’s take a closer look at Luke 2:40-52. 

Here, we see Jesus as a preteen. The text jumps from Him being 12 years old to being 30 years old in just a few verses. I love how verses 40 and 52 use the word "grew" to cover those entire 12 and 18-year gaps. If only parenting felt that easy, right?

But even in this brief passage, we can learn four key principles:

1. From the parents: Involve the community in raising your children.  

   It’s clear that for Mary and Joseph, family came first, but they didn’t hesitate to involve friends and acquaintances in raising Jesus. When they couldn’t find Him, their first thought was that He might be with their community. If you don’t know where your child is, someone in your circle should! This reminds us of the importance of raising children within a supportive network. Verse 44 shows us this.

2. From Jesus: Actively listen to your children and ask questions.  

   Jesus wasn’t just a passive observer when He was in the temple. He listened and asked questions—He was fully engaged. As parents, when our teenagers speak, we should listen carefully—not just to their words, but also to their tone, body language, and what they’re *not* saying. Be curious, like Jesus was. Verse 46 highlights the importance of active listening.

3. From the teachers: Teenagers are insightful and know more than we think.  

   The people in the temple were amazed by Jesus’ understanding at such a young age. Teenagers might not always show it, but they often know exactly what they’re doing and understand the consequences of their actions. Jesus wasn’t wandering aimlessly—He was pursuing His purpose. Let’s not underestimate our teens. Verse 47 shows that young people can have deep understanding and wisdom.

4. From the Father: Remember, your children ultimately belong to God.  

   Joseph wasn’t Jesus’ biological father—God was. This is a reminder to us that, as parents, we are more like stewards or guardians of our children for the time God has given us. Do you remember the day you dedicated your child to God? They belong to Him first. Like Mary, sometimes we need to quietly reflect on things in our hearts, or like Joseph, we might need to simply hold our peace. Verse 49 emphasizes this important truth.

In the end, raising teenagers is no easy feat—it’s a journey full of challenges, surprises, and growth. But with God’s guidance and the lessons we can learn from scripture, we don’t have to do it alone. And when the going gets tough, just remember: Jesus grew, and so will your teenagers. They’ll get through it… and so will you.

Image is of one Nashami Wangara, a believer in the Lord Jesus and a great minister to this and that generation. She, with the help of teenagers penned down this book which is a collection of letters from teenagers to their parents anonymously. Feel free to reach out via 0711378765 and we'll help you get a copy.