Ile season imefika.

Ile season ya kukumbusha teenagers waoge imefika.🚿

(Yes, dear guardians—brace yourselves. The ‘Bathe-or-Perish’ season has landed.)

I never used to get it—why Mum would walk in from work, bypass everyone, and go straight to fling open the windows like she’s chasing out demons. Then she’d leave the door open too, like she was giving "something" a chance to escape. 🏃

Kumbe kumbe, tulikua tunanuka. Not just ordinary nuktance— the kind that shifts atmospheres. That room had presence, my friends. Not Holy Spirit kind of presence. This one was... holy stench that can only be detected by adults. Sisi hatukua na house help BTW.

You see, she was raising a small army—four boys, born back-to-back like a bad election cycle. My three elder brothers were born in consecutive years. Then came me, the lastborn, with a one-year breather. So yes, we hit teenagehood like a synchronized team—sweaty, smelly, and stubborn. Hapa ata mzazi anaanza kushuku if any of her children are born-again.

We agreed on many things.  

1. Don’t wash the house. Let's go and play.

2. Avoid dishes like. Instead watch a movie. 

3. Dodge instructions with Olympic-level reflexes. Kwani what are the rest doing?

4. Play like it’s a career. Kumbe sports would end up being careers!

5. And food? We didn't eat—we devoured. Every meal was The Last Supper, and our Messiah wasn’t planning a second coming in the kitchen. 🤣

But water? No, no, no. We had beef with water. Which is ironic—considering we’re Kambas! Our ancestors are probably shaking their heads in Masaku wondering what went wrong. But if you knew the clan we come from, you'd understand. People call it stubbornness, we call it focus. Others call it foolishness, we call it strategy. We weren’t dirty—we were purpose-driven. #SaveWater, #SaveThePlanet.

So this is just a public service announcement:  

If your house smells like socks, onions, and future regrets all combined—just open the windows, and tell them, kindly: "no shower, no supper." Ama uzime WiFi now that technology can be used as a whip.

Happy holidays to all watoto! Much love from the teen ministers from across the globe. We love you all even when surrounded by the smell of teenage dreams. 🤦