Tomondolios Chronicles.

Tomondolios Chronicles: Elisha, Jayden, and the Case of the Missing Ugali.


We call them tomondolios. Don’t ask me about the spelling—it’s Kamba slang for "small and everywhere," like Wi-Fi signals you didn’t subscribe to. If it’s just one, it’s kamondolio. 


Today, two tomondolios made my day. Their names? Elisha and Jayden. But according to Jayden, his friend is Eliza. The ‘sha’ sound dodged his tongue the same way the SHA healthcare policy dodged the hearts and healthcare of Kenyans.  



Their first strike came when they exposed me—live and direct. Earlier, they had knocked, ready to turn my compound into a playground. But I wasn’t in the mood for chaos. I wanted peace, quiet, and rest. So, I hit them with the classic shutdown:  


"Endeni mchezee mbali, mimi nataka kulala."


But did I sleep? Apana. Sleep packed its bags and left me scrolling through music, counting hills, and pretending to read. Two hours later, they stormed back, and Jayden, in his full loudness, declared to the world:  


"Kuja uone Mwongela! Alitudanganya anaenda kulala!"


Eeh! I can forget about being called Pastor for the rest of the month.  


But the saga continued…  


Still craving peace, I decided to outsource their energy. I smelled heavenly ugali from the neighbor’s place, so I sent them on a mission:  


"Nendeni kwa jirani mulete ugali."


Off they went—fast and furious on their imaginary cars. Minutes passed. They returned with breaking news:  


"Tumeona ugali, tukaona imeiva, tukaona tukule kidogo... Sasa hakuna!" Or something like that.🤦


So, no ugali. Just stories.  


Now, I must end this broadcast and walk to the neighbor’s myself because that ugali must be found.  


Tomondolios 1 - Ex-pastor 0.


#MondoliosChronicles  

#UgaliOverEverything

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